The Beginning Of The End.....

     We had been fighting over stupid little things all day, what to have for dinner, what time we were going to leave to go home from our weekend away, and most of all his poor attitude.....He had always had a grouchy side but looking back on it now he was even worse the few weeks prior. We got home and he automatically starts complaining about the laundry situation, the lack of food in the house and the kids running crazy. I gave him that look that says really is life really that bad that all you can do is be a jerk.......and that's when he came clean. "You think things are okay, really well guess what there's someone else." Automatically I felt like I had been sucker punched, the wind knocked out of me and thought that I could quite possibly faint.

     Most women would have left right then and there, but not me. I stayed to try and make my marriage work, to make the man that I was so madly in love with. Little did I know that, that night would be the beginning of the end of my marriage. I was heartbroken but determined to show him that I was still the girl he fell in love with. I tried everything and it would work for a little while and then all fall apart again. The worst part was the day after he "came clean" we found out we were having our 3rd baby. What a slap in the face to be sitting on the couch in tears with the pastor from the local church trying to save our marriage when we should have been celebrating a new addition to our family.

     That night we as laid in bed we started talking about the future and everything that it had in store for us and with that I became a little hopeful that maybe just maybe we could make this work and be amazing again. I tried my hardest, he called his home-wrecker friend to tell her his wife was pregnant and that he no longer had a desire to see her, she begged and pleaded told him I was a bad wife for getting myself pregnant.  I had, had enough I took the phone and told her to leave our family alone and with that the words flew out of her mouth....."I'm going to be the mother to your children" I became irate, I said "like hell you are, you leave my family alone and don't ever speak to MY husband again" she replied back "if you leave him I will buy you a house and a camper." How incredibly stupid did she think I was you could not buy my husband from me. At the time we were living in a rental house that had major issues almost monthly and I really wanted a place of our own, my husband didn't want any big commitments, now looking back on it he didn't want anything tying "us" together. The whole time they were together he was telling her how I was a spoiled wife who wanted nothing more from him than his money. He told her that he was just a "cash-cow" to me. That was so far from the truth. I never asked for anything, I wore his ex wives clothes when I was pregnant with our first too because we were so broke we couldn't afford new maternity clothes. Everything we had came from his first marriage and I never complained. All I asked was for a house that we could call our own.

The warning signs had all been there his attitude alone should have clued me in that something was majorly wrong. I could do no right in his eyes because he had this beautiful skinny home-wrecker who never had any babies and who's body was still "perfect" in his eyes. Its a tough pill to swallow hearing those words "there's someone else" but there is light at the end of the tunnel. In writing this blog I hope to help others heal and know that life does go on.